Not Quite the Same

As I am starting to feel Christmas and Advent in the air I am realizing it is just not the same this year. Yes the radio stations are playing the music, the stores are all decked out, streets have lights, Santa is in the mall, and the Advent wreath is at the front of the Sanctuary at church, but something is just not right.

That sometime is within me. On Black Friday while I was at work I received a phone call from my mom. When I got off I returned the call to hear here crying. The guys (my Dad and Brother) had left her alone with the Christmas decorations. The tree, the nativity, the ornaments, and her Christmas village were all there for her to put up with no help. As I listened to her I could feel her pain. This is OUR time and it always has been. My mother and I were always the ones to bug my dad and brother to go to the basement and bring up all the boxes. Then we would turn on Christmas music, which drove the guys crazy, and decorate everything. This included me hiding the wise men until after Christmas most years. However, this year it is not OUR time. It is just another reminder that I am far away and cannot be home this Christmas.

Ever since the phone call I just don't feel right. I don't feel Christmas and Advent, I feel hurt. Yet, I still feel love and know it will all be ok.

So I leave you all with this:

I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love

Even more than I usually do

and although I know its a long way back

I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas

You can Count on Me

Please have snow and mistletoe

and present under the tree

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the love light gleams

I'll be home for Christmas

If only in my dreams, if only in my dreams