Theam Song

The past few week, day, well months I have been feeling so defeated. I decided I needed a theam song to make me feel better. So here it is. I will keep going and God will get me through this.

Alone Time

As I have been out of my parents house for almost ten years before my return in May I had many times alone to think, sleep, play, pray, ect. Now that I am back home I am realizing just how much I loved those times. The times when it was just me and the dog(s). The days when I could just relax and take times to myself to go over everything that was going on in my life or just sit and watch tv all day without interruption from anyone. Now I would given anything for a day to myself. Time to think, feel, or just relax without someone else in the house. Every Friday I get half a day of my alone time as everyone is working until my grandfather gets home from volunteering at 1pm. I have found that Fridays are my favorite day because I do get my alone time. Get me on this I am a totally extrovert, but I do have introvert tendencies. I love being around people, but come on we all need some alone time.

Prayer and Rememberance

As most of you know I am in a production of Godspell. Our first performance is tomorrow night at 8pm. These past two weeks have been hard on everyone in the play with rehearsals until after 10 pm and all day practice Saturday. As everyone is a little on edge last nights practice took a turn for the worse. Our Jesus could not remember most of his line and ended up kind of throwing a little fit. Everyone was shocked and well we kept trying to go on as best we could. At the end of practice last night I asked if I could pray for our group. I prayed for our strength, rest, and being able to remember all our lines, songs, and dances.

As I prayed I began to cry. I began to remember how much I loved praying over groups of people in a church. How prayer can being me so close to God. I really do miss being in ministry. Working with people and helping them in their faith journey is my calling. Now I just have to figure out how I can do that and be happy again.

Godspell and interviews

For the past few weeks my life has felt like I have, well, no life. All my time has been consumed by practice for Godspell and preparing for interviews. I am finally getting interviews, so please understand I am not complaining.

Godspell start on the 22 so it is less than 7 days away. It is amazing and freaky at the same time. This past week I have been at practice every night from 7-10pm. I proved once again how clumsy I can been by falling up the risers on the stage. Yes I said up the risers. Yet, I am loving being part of something big right now.

Interviews are going well. I have had three in the past three weeks. All at Duke or Duke affiliated places. Every one for very different positions. I am enjoying getting to improve my interview skills, but am getting tired of interviewing. It feels like I will never get a job at times. Yet, I know there will be something eventually.

It's a Girl!!!!

So excited for my friends Emily and Brian. Today I got the long awaited for news. Their baby is a girl. Emily is due on Thanksgiving, so up until now we have called the baby butterball. We also got the amazing news that the baby is healthy and does not have spina bifida. What a wonderful day! Now I get to go baby girl shopping and plan what I know will be the most amazing baby shower ever.

Living With Mistakes

Today I received another reminder of the mistakes I made in Texas. I got the first bill for my wedding dress. Unfortunately I used the money I made selling the dress to pay my last months rent at my old place, so I had to ask for help. That was not easy for me. I had to finally tell my parents I had bought a wedding dress and what had happened to it. All my mom could say is that she was happy to help pay off the dress because she would not be helping me pay for a divorce and recover from that since I left my ex.

How did I deserve a family that would be so accepting of my mistakes. Only God know how many I would make in my life and somehow put me with the right parents.

Three Things I Pray

This summer I have been involved in the musical Godspell. It is a production between a few different UMC churches in my home town. I am playing the role of Robin, who sings Day By Day and is the first to really accept Jesus as who he really is. It has been fun getting to be around other people who love music and acting as much as I do. I have not done a play or musical since I was in college and now I am finding that I should not have stopped. Enjoyment and love do not even show how much I feel about being a part of something like Godspell again.

So I have been contemplating my character this past week. Who is Robin? I know from the script that Robin is a tomboy and the first to accept Jesus for who he is, but there is more to Robin. She is strong, outgoing, and loving. As I started to think about these and other attributes of Robin I began to see how much I have in common with my character. However, there is one things I wish I were more like Robin in. I want to pray like Robin and believe like her. My prayer are so complicated at time. In the song Day By Day Robin prays for three things.

1) To see God more clearly
2) Love God more dearly
3) Follow God more nearly

I want my prayer to be that simple. I want to be that simple. I know that Robin is just a charter made up by Stephen Schwartz, but she is a role model to me in her prayer. I wonder if Schwartz based the character of Robin on someone he knew?